#100

My 100 post which would average out to roughly 10 posts a month. Right.

Got this from an email.

Rules of Manhood.

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

I have an umbrella and I've used it before but never shared it.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.
(e) When his football team wins or loses.

I cried when Liverpool lifted the Holy Grail in 2005

3: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

Yeah fools!

4: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

Sorry Edgar, but it was..err.. SKOL!

5: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

Strippers will do since we don't have strip bars.

6: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the
weakest.

Or if the alcohol runs out :P

7: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

Cardinal sin

8: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

Chris, Laundry isn't a tropical beach!

9: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

Does this include fighting over the last beer at the bar?

10: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

Never. *hair standing*

11: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

Hahah.. Why would you look there anyway?

12: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

Keep your friends close and enemies closer.

13: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

Ah...For the record, I'd go for the beer

14: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

Think really hard before you answer though

15: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:

(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

Remind me again why I haven't joined a gym?

16: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

*no comment*

17: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.

:)

18: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

This would result in no sex for a month but hey, you got the Xbox right?

19: There is no reason for guys to watch Men's Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

Imagine two guys watching either of this and commenting on it "Really nice grip on the handle bars there eh?" GOD.

20: A game is more than a game. Do not answer your phone or do anything that would make the other players wait.

Be it even a bottle cap game!


Let the holidays begin peeps. I see a whole lot of partying for the next couple of days.

* Thursday @ Laundry *
* Friday & Sat @ ? *
* Sunday @ Liverpool vs Man U *
* Monday @ Mambo? *

~Happy Holidays~