The story goes on...

I'm dead tired. I don't think i've been this mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. On sunday when my grandma passed on, I didn't really had a chance to sit down and grasp the situation. Someone had to go do the police report and the burial permit and the newspaper ads right?

Gobi, Krishnan, Kuma, Chris and Sara came by to pay their respects though. Sabrina also came which kinda suprised me but i think my sister called her. That night, most of the family didn't sleep choosing instead to be together and recalling stories my grandma. That was really sad.

I managed to doze off for like 2 and a half hours before i had to be ready to expect ppl. Relatives came pouring in and it hurts me to see my mum cry everytime a close relative comes and gives their condolences. Argh.

The time i really broke down was when my cousins and me carried the coffin out to the garden where they did the ceremony. I didn't stop crying for another 2 hours. I can't explain the loss i felt when they cremated the body. (Thanks Kent, Luke and Conrad for coming)

My grandma and me go way back. She took care of me when my parents went to work. I used to buy veggies for her in the market, buy roti canai, buy chee cheong fan and once in a while buy Guinness Stout when she felt like it. All this when i was not even 12.

Once i finished my SPM, i left home (mum's place) and moved in with my grandma. College was nearer plus she needed someone to run around for her. During these times our bond grew stronger than ever. I'll always remember those days.

Yesterday, we went to Port Klang to throw her ashes into the ocean. Today my grandma made her last journey. We flew up to Penang to place her urn in a Buddish temple right near my grandfather.

I think in the past 4 days i've slept less than 8 hours. It's almost 6am now and i'm still awake.

I hope anyone who's reading doesn't think i'm looking for sympathy or telling my sad story for the world to read. I want everyone to know what an amazing person my grandma was. She will always be in my heart for all that she's done for me.

I can never repay you Nanny. Love you always.


Life is expected to go on as normal from tommorrow onwards but Sundays will never be the same again. You see my family no matter, how far or how busy will always make Sunday lunch a big family affair because of Nanny's insistance since a long time ago. This coming Sunday is sure going to feel weird.

~15 day prayers fasting~

p.s. Sabrina, i'm not accusing you of anything. I think if you have something to say to me say it and don't put ' You know who you are ' as in your blog. It would be appreciated.